My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 22 - The carton labelled "Not to be opened"

I took a very different Pia home that night. She looked more mature than her eight years. I kept glancing at her sideways, but she was lost in some deep thought.

My mum was waiting for us outside. She was anxious to know how the first real session had been. I shook my head to indicate that things hadn’t gone great. Actually, I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t tell whether making Pia remember everything was a good thing or not.

My mum opened Pia’s door and picked her up. Pia didn’t protest. She held on to my mum as she carried Pia inside, gently stroking her hair.

Pia hadn’t uttered a word since we had left Shantanu’s office. We sat around the dinner table, trying to dram draw Pia out of the shell she had retreated into. But Pia didn’t say anything. After dinner, she slipped into her room, claiming she was tired.

My mum and dad watched her leave, concern written all over their faces. They bombarded me with questions once Pia left. What happened there??? They wanted to know. What could I tell them, I hardly knew myself what had transpired between Pia and Shantanu.

After trying to explain to my parents that I had no idea, for which I got a lot of flak, I walked up the stairs to my room. I stopped outside Pia’s door. I could tell she was awake. I pressed my ear against the door but couldn’t tell whether she was crying or not.

I knocked gently. No response. After a couple of seconds I knocked again. Pia didn’t answer, neither she open the door. I turned the knob gently and peeked inside. Pia was sitting cross legged in front of a carton. She held a pair of scissors in her hand.

“Pia.. What are you doing with those scissors?”  I asked cautiously. The sharp object in her hand had prickled the hair on my neck. All kinds of not so nice scenarios flashed through my mind.

Pia looked up at me innocently and pointed at the carton. “I want to open that, but I can’t..”

What box was she trying to open.  I looked past her and at the carton in front of her. It was labeled “Not to be opened.” It was the box containing Di’s stuff.

“Why do you want to open it?” I took the scissors from her. I didn’t mind opening the carton for her, but I wanted to know why she wanted to open it.

“Shantanu says” She said gravely, “When you fear something, you should face it.”

“But why are you afraid of the box??” I stopped trying to pry the carton open and looked at Pia who was fidgeting. I could tell she was uncomfortable the way this conversation was going.

Pia  hesitated . “This is the last box I have which has mommy’s things.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to, I understood what she was trying to say. Most of Di’s clothes had already been given away. We had kept only memorabilia. But this carton contained things that Di had personally picked out, had worn.

When I thought of it that way, the scissor felt heavy in my hand too. I placed the scissor down. After a while, I felt a little hand on mine. Pia smiled at me. I smiled back.

We would open it together.

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 21 - Pia's recollection

I could do nothing but hear as the words poured out form from Pia..

It struck me that I hadn’t spoken to her about Di’s accident. I doubt if my parents had either. We were not a family that discussed things. I guess, we believed that if we didn’t think about the problem, it would cease to exist.

Pia  remembered everything. Down to the last chilling detail.

I tried not to imagine what she was describing but I couldn’t stop myself. Vivid pictures entered my head as Pia described how she had crawled out of the mangled car and groped around in Di’s blood to get to the phone.

I stood up, walked over and put a protective arm around Pia.

“I think this is quite enough.” I told Shantanu. No child should have to re-live such memories.

Shantanu frowned ever so lightly to show his displeasure. He had asked me to cooperate with him, but he hadn’t told me that I would have to watch Pia recollect something we were trying hard to forget. I glared back at him..

“Khushi.. Maybe you should wait outside.” His eyes were pleading with me.

I looked down at Pia, hoping to get some support from her. Pia didn’t look at me. She had that look on her face, as though she was in a faraway place. I pecked her on her forehead and stepped outside.

To be honest, I needed to get out of the room and I had taken the first escape route offered to me.

Pia was made of stronger stuff than me. She hadn’t cried, her voice hadn’t faltered. I wanted to believe she would be okay without me.

Shantanu and Pia were in his office for over two hours. I paced up and down wondering whether I had done a smart thing leaving her all alone to face her nightmares.

 I was contemplating going back in when the door opened and a subdued Pia walked out. She didn’t look at me. She came and sat next to me.

“You okay kiddo?”  I ruffled her hair affectionately.

Without warning, Pia buried her face into me and started to cry. The deep sobs shook her entire body. I tried to comfort her, but nothing I said seemed to make any difference. I looked up helplessly at Shantanu who was standing at his door and watching both of us.

He came over and placed a hand on Pia’s head and stroked it gently. Pia looked up, surprised at the gesture. She contemplated for a moment and then rewarded him with her smile. Whatever had happened in the two hours, I could tell that Pia and Shantanu now shared a relationship which surpassed the relationship between a psychiatrist and his little patient.

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 20 - The First Real Session

Shantanu was waiting for us, looking very much like the psychiatrist that he was. He greeted us solemnly. Even Pia could sense the difference in him. She followed him warily as he led her to a small playroom.
“Stay here for a while till I talk to Khushi.. If you need anything, just ask the lady over there..” He pointed towards a woman sitting at the reception.
“Come with me..” He led me to his office. He shut the door behind him and watched me fiddle with a paper weight on his table..
“What are you so nervous about?” He asked, breaking the silence that was there in the room.
“Nothing..” I smiled awkwardly, “I was just wondering why you wanted to talk to me..”
“Well, for starters.. I wanted to tell you how this is going to be. The process that is.. My main focus will of course be Pia. About why she gets nightmares, why she has fluctuating mood swings and all those things.. But..” He paused for a while.. “But.. I will need to take a closer look at you and your parents. Its all inter-related. If Pia does feel better and go from here, I don’t want her to get depressed because you guys are sad. Get it?”
I nodded.. It made sense. Pia must be getting influenced by our actions and our moods too.
He smiled suddenly, I guess he was expecting me to argue on that part and I hadn’t.
“So.. we will start with you.. ” He continued.
I steeled myself. For Pia. For Pia. For Pia. I repeated to myself.
As though he sensed my apprehensiveness, Shantanu put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and said “Don’t worry, it’ll be easy..”
“Ready?” He asked.
I wasn’t, but what choice did I have.
“Yes.”
“So.. why didn’t you go for your job interview?” The question was a complete surprise to me.
“How in the world did you get to know!!?” The question was out before I could stop myself.
“It’s a small town. Word gets around.” He smiled.
“I don’t see what that has to do with Pia.” I said huffily.
Shantanu’s face darkened. “Khushi.. you are not helping! For Pia to move on, you have to move on! And I’m just trying to understand why you are not!!”
For a psychiatrist he was pretty short tempered. He glared at me for some time and then turned around frustrated.


I started slowly,“I wanted to be there for Pia all the time.” My voice was flat, devoid of emotions. I was dreading the part when he would force me to revisit the accident. So I was trying to reign in the emotions.


Shantanu turned around, surprised that I had answered. He pulled up a chair, “What do you do when Pia goes to school?” he asked gently.
“I wait for her to come back.” Even to my ears that sounded pathetic. I looked up at Shantanu expecting to see pity in his eyes. There was nothing, he was watching me carefully. I chided myself for being so silly. Of course, he was watching carefully. That was his job!!
I quickly glanced down, preferring too to look at the paper weight I held in my hand.
He asked me a couple of questions which I answered in a monosyllabic way. I wanted to help, but something about his way just put me off. He seemed to realize that I wasn’t going to be very receptive towards his questions anymore and after a couple of minutes he suggested that we bring Pia in.
He rang his receptionist and asked her to get Pia. We waiting in silence. Awkwardness was heavy in the air but neither of us tried to reduce it. 


Pia entered, her earlier excitement diminished by the cold reception that we had got from Shantanu. She started walking towards me, Shantanu blocked her way.
“So did you have fun outside?” Shantanu was back to his old happy self. The transformation had seemed so effortless.
Pia smiled carefully, as though trying to make sure he didn’t go back to being all serious.
“Pia.. We are going to have a nice chat today.” I stared at him, surely, he wasn’t just going to ask her questions like he asked me. There had to be some subtlety involved! After all she was just 8 years old. I opened my mouth to protest when Shantanu, anticipating my actions put up a hand to silence me.
“Okaaay.” I could sense the reluctance in Pia's voice.
“Tell me about your parents accident.” I almost collapsed. I turned to look at Pia anxiously. Why was he asking her those things. I had already told him everything!
Pia seemed quite unperturbed by his question. She frowned deeply, as though trying to figure out what to say.
And then she started talking..

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 19 - Sessions in the park

“Me?” I was flummoxed, “But I’m perfectly fine.”

“Are you? Really?”  Shantanu hadn’t missed a beat.

“Yes..” I said firmly as I tried not to think about the screams that I occasionally heard. This was about Pia.. Not about me.

“If you want this to work, you have to be honest with me Khushi..” Shantanu was looking at me gravely, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.
“I understand.. So how do we do this?” I was trying to change the subject and get him to focus more on Pia.

“Ah yes..” Shantanu said, as though he just realized that it was Pia who was his patient and not me. “Well.. Pia will take a couple of days to open up to me. Till that time, there’s no point coming to my office. How about we meet here everyday? After her school hours?”

“Here????” i turned around to look at the surroundings. I found it difficult to imagine psychiatric session being conducted there.

“Is there a problem?” Shantanu inquired. I shook my head.

 He certainly had very unconventional methods.. But he was the expert and I wasn’t going to argue with him about his methodology.. Not yet anyway.

This continued for over two week. I used to pick Pia up from school and meet Shantanu over ice cream. Pretty soon Pia got very comfortable having Shantanu around.

He didn’t want to be a Shrink, he said. He wanted to be a friend.

 He told me his story too.  About his obesity problems. About why he was a psychiatrist. But as much as he tried, I could never tell him anything about Di apart from the sparse details about the accident.

At the end of two weeks, as we were saying our goodbyes, Shantanu called out “Come by my office tomorrow. I promised Pia I’ll show her around.”

Was this my cue?

 I guess it was supposed to mean that Pia’s real therapy sessions would start from tomorrow.

The next day, I did as I was told. I followed the directions Shantanu had given us and reached a very swanky looking apartment. I gulped. I hadn’t asked Shantanu how much each session was going to cost. I wasn’t poor but I certainly wasn’t rolling in money either. And the two weeks sessions!! Was he going to charge me for sitting in the park with Pia??? Probably.

I looked at Pia who could barely wait to see her new friend, Shantanu’s office. Whatever he was charging, he was worth it.

 I pushed the thought out of my mind and opened the door to Shantanu’s office.