All Roads Lead Home - 12

I was skeptical about the change, but figured, we had nothing to lose. We accepted her invite and made our way inside her modest house.

“Mrs Gurung says you stayed here when you were a child.”  She asked before I crossed the threshold of her house. She must have called Mrs. Gurung to confirm whether she really knew us. Gossip spread like fire in small neighborhood like this and a child looking for her parents was the kind of stuff that would provide the fodder for generations to come.

Prachi rolled her eyes. “We’re not sure about that yet.” Prachi answered for me in a brusque manner.

“Be nice!” I whispered in Prachi’s ear as she passed me.

Prachi shrugged and followed the lady in.

“I am not sure,” I started “Maybe I’m completely off course. So, I was hoping you could tell me more about the family that stayed here.”

The little lady turned towards me, her smile was a little hard to interpret. “Well, of course. I wish I could have told you something of use. But I moved in here some ten years back. This house was abandoned even then.”

My face fell. Every time I dared to be little hopeful, it turned out to be a dead end.

“Anyone who you think will remember?” Prachi asked.

“Well, I could certainly ask around, but why don’t you just ask your parents?” The lady was trying to extract information out of us. Neither of us fell for it.

“Thank you for your help.” Prachi said, getting up. “Maybe we should ask the other neighbors too?” Prachi turned towards me.

I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment.

“Why don’t you stay a while? Mrs. Gurung is coming over.” The lady insisted.

Prachi looked positively livid, “Absolutely no..”

“We’d love to.” I finished the sentence for her. Prachi glared at me.

“Oh.. You know what, I’ll call some other ladies over, maybe they’ll know something.” She said gleefully and disappeared into her room, presumably to call all her friends.

“What’s wrong with you?” Prachi asked me in disbelief. “Don’t you know what this is? They are just going to gather here, listen to your story and pass it on to somebody.”

I smiled, sometimes, Prachi could be so naïve. “Isn’t that great?”

Prachi looked at me as though I had lost my marbles. “Great??? What’s so great about it?”

“Prachi! Don’t you see? Maybe one of those women will know something. Or somebody they talk to, might know something.”

“Ummm.. Aren’t you worried about what you might find? I mean..” She hesitated. “Ok.. never mind.”

The unspoken words were heavy in the air. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I was perfectly aware that there was a very high chance that I was an illegitimate child. But really, was I to care about my birth mother’s “reputation”?

Why should I anyway? She had abandoned me. What did I care what people in her old neighborhood thought of her.

Prachi suddenly grasped my arm.

“Ira!” She exclaimed.

“What, what is it?” I looked at the wall Prachi was staring at. It was adorned with old pictures.

“What happened?” I glanced at the pictures and then at Prachi. Color had all but drained from her face.

“Look at this picture.” She pointed at a picture hung on the wall. Nothing special about it. The picture focused on two little boys playing in the lawn, happy faces. I couldn’t understand what had captured Prachi’s attention.

“What, Prachi?”  I asked helplessly.

“Don’t you see?” Prachi took the picture off the wall and pointed. And then I saw it. In the background was the house. My house. And in front of the house was a woman with her back to the camera, holding up a baby.

There was no doubt about it. I had seen a million of my baby photos.

The baby in the picture in the woman’s arms was me.

All Roads Lead Home - 11

With Prachi by my side, I followed the same route I had the day before. Surprisingly, this time, it led me to the right neighborhood. I kept backtracking, but I couldn’t figure out where I had lost my way the last time.

The area was modest. Nothing fancy, a couple of big houses but mostly smaller ones. We could sense people watching us from the closed windows. This wasn’t a neighborhood frequented by tourists or strangers. We made our way through the narrow street, conscious of how we stood out in this place.

We couldn’t have been more conspicuous if we had a clown costume on.

As we inched closer to my parents or mother’s, as I had recently discovered house, I felt suddenly apprehensive about what I was going to find there. What if I didn’t like it? Would I be able to forget it and get back to my life?

I sighed involuntarily. There were so many unanswered questions. Was I ever going to get any answers?

 And suddenly, there we were, in front of THE house. It was exactly how Om had described. Huge and abandoned. There was an old car parked outside which looked like it hadn’t been moved in ages. Dry leaves and twigs covered the lawn area. The main door, had a huge padlock on it, rusted to the core. We stepped in a little closer and I peered inside through the window. Utter darkness, I couldn’t see anything.                                                                                                                              

Disappointed I turned around, a sudden movement caught my attention. A woman, from the house on the opposite side of the road was staring at us, alarmed.

Natural, she must have been surprised to see two strangers lurking about, looking at abandoned house.

“Hi, I’m looking for Mrs. Gurung!” I called out to her.

She eyed me suspiciously.

“She stays four lanes ahead.” She said briskly.

“Oh, I guess we got the wrong address,” I tried to engage her in a conversation.

She folded her arms in front of her and waited. I guess she was waiting for us to leave.

“How long has this house been abandoned?” I pointed at the house and asked with a polite smile.

“For as long as I can remember.” She didn’t want to make conversation, she just wanted to see us gone. I wondered why she was being so hostile.

“Did some Sinhas stay here?” I wasn’t about to give up. Who better to give me information, than the nieghbours neighbours.

“Who are you? Why are you interested?” she stepped closer to her door, as though afraid that Prachi and I would attack her.

“We are friends of Mrs. Gurung.” I tried to pacify her. To my surprise, the woman went inside and slammed the door shut.

“What just happened?” I asked Prachi.

“I think, she thinks that we’re dangerous.” Prachi was trying not to laugh. I gave in to the moment and joined her in the laughter. A couple of moments later, tha the lady came to the door. Her demeanor had changed completely.

“Why don’t you girls come in?” She asked with a smile.

As we accepted her offer, I couldn’t help but wonder what had triggered the change.

All Roads Lead Home - 10

I rushed down in my pajamas, with Prachi close at my heels.

We both reached, a little out of breath and a little excited.

“Did you find something?” I panted.

Om nodded, “Yes, that address you gave me, nobody stays there anymore.” He thrust the piece of paper that I had given him yesterday into my hand and turned around to leave.

“Wait!” I was a little taken aback by the abruptness of the conversation. “What do you mean, nobody stays there anymore.”

Om shot me a impatient glance. “I mean its abandoned. Whatever you’re looking for, its not there.” Then on seeing my face drop, he said gently, “Go home. ”

“No..” I whispered half to myself.

“Since when has it been abandoned?” Prachi placed a reassuring arm on my shoulder.

He shrugged, “Ten years, twenty years maybe, no one knows for sure. I think the old tenants died.”

I covered my mouth as a gasp escaped me.

“Do you have their names?” I didn’t know what Prachi was thinking, but her hand on my shoulder was extremely comforting.

Om thought for a while. “It was hmmm.. ” he paused, “Sinha, I think. Old man, stayed there with his daughter I think.”

“How old was the daughter?” Prachi asked quickly. I suddenly looked up at her, I knew what she was getting at! I looked expectantly at Om.

He scratched his head, “Well.. She was young, maybe your age or slightly older when her father died. She left soon after his death and I think the house has been abandoned since.”

We both did the math. It was quite possible that this daughter was my mum!

“Any idea what happened to the daughter?” Prachi asked.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously. “What does this family mean to you? Why are you asking so many questions about them?”

Uhhhh… I wasn’t ready to share my lineage with him. I struggled to come up with a plausible excuse instead.

“We might be related.” Prachi answered carefully. That seemed to satisfy him.

He shook his head slightly. “No, maybe the people in the neighborhood will know.”

“How did you find out? I mean. How can we be so sure, that your information is accurate?”

He almost laughed at us. “twenty years back, people used to communicate via letters. Postmen knew everything. The postman who used to deliver to that area, I know him.”

“Could we?” I looked at Prachi, she nodded. “Could we meet him? Please,” I said, as I realized he was going to say no. “Its very important.”

“No, he’s very old. He doesn’t meet anyone.” He said gruffly.

“Please..” Prachi pleaded.

“Please!” I joined in.

He looked at me and then at Prachi, probably wondering about the cause of our desperation.

“I’ll see what I can do, but no promises.” He said finally.

“Thank you!” We both chimed. By now, we knew how to get the gruff man do things for us. He couldn’t say no, when asked nicely.

We had a name now, Sinha. After all how many Sinha’s could stay on one street. As Prachi and I readied ourselves, we thought of questions that we had to ask the neighbors and the excuses to explain why we were interested.

All Roads Lead Home - 9

Prachi’s plans, were even more vague and impractical than my non-existent ones. We sat up late that night, poking fun at her best laid ideas. As we giggled and laughed, we never realized when the conversation took on a serious tone.

“What do mum and dad feel about this whole thing?” I asked her. I hadn’t spoken to them about it in great detail.

Prachi looked at me sharply. I played it cool, playing with the piece of paper I held in my hand.

“What do you mean?” She asked, pulling the paper out of my hand.

“I mean, are they okay with it? I never asked.”

“Well, I don’t think they are too happy about it.” She said thoughtfully. “But there’s nothing they can do to stop you, and they want you to know that they are always there for you. Whatever decision you take, they’ll be behind you, one-hundred percent, even if they don’t like it.”

I nodded. I already knew all that.

“Can I ask you something?” Prachi asked hesitantly.

“Sure.” I was intrigued.

“What’ll you do if you find them?” Prachi looked me straight in the eye. “Its not going to change anything right?” She wanted me to reassure her that everything was going to be just the same.

“I don’t know.” I told her the only thing I was sure of right then.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I could see the lines on her forehead gathering, which indicated that she was trying to not to lose her patience.

I held her by the shoulders. “Please Prachi, I don’t have the answers right now. All I know is that I HAVE to do this. It’s a part of who I am. When I find the answers to the rest of your questions, I’ll let you know. Okay?”

She looked at me for the longest time and then nodded slowly.“Okay, deal.”

“Now that that’s clear, lets sleep! We’ve to start early tomorrow.”  She yawned loudly. I laughed. It was 3 AM, there was no way, we would start early tomorrow. As I turned off the lights, I heard my sister call out. “Goodnight sis.”

An involuntary smile touched my face. Despite her staking claim on the window side bed, she had moved to the other one. I fell asleep as I watched the moonlight stream into the room, illuminating it softly.

Turns out, we did have an early start. Prachi, the practical one, had asked the front desk to wake us up at seven. When the phone rang, Prachi lifted on one lazy finger, which promptly went under the blanket.

The phone rang persistently. Cursing Prachi under my breath, I got up and groggily made my way to the phone.

“Hello..”  I said, stifling a yawn.

“Madam, this is the front desk.” His cheerfulness was almost annoying.

“Yes, we’re up. Stop calling!” I gave out precise instructions.

“No Madam, there is someone to see you.. He’s waiting in the lobby. He says his name is Om and you’re expecting him.” *Poof!* my sleep all but disappeared.

“I’ll be right down.” I had hung up before the words were out of my mouth.