My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 13 - About Pia

“Pia??” I exclaimed. “But she was the one who refused to come with me. She said she didn’t want to stay with me.”

“She didn’t say that..” My father corrected me, “She said she didn’t want to live with you in the city.”

“Oh..” Things were a lot clearer to me now. I could imagine the scene in my head. Pia telling my dad she wanted to go to the city to bring me back. The thought gave me the warm fuzzies.

I turned back to look at Pia, who was still sleeping peacefully.

 “She’s a complicated child..” I commented.

“Can you blame her? She’s been through a lot.” There was a long silence as we thought about Pia. What it would feel like to be eight years old and to watch your parents die. I shuddered involuntarily. My father noticed, and gripped my hand. I could feel his strength flow into me and I relaxed a bit.

“You ok now?” My father asked after a while.

I nodded and placed my hands on my lap.

“Does she talk about it dad?” I didn’t have to explain what that “It” was.

 “No. Never. She just runs away when we bring up the topic. But I’m sure she thinks about it all the time.” He paused for a moment, then he said suddenly, “Pia’s very fond of you..”

I looked up, surprised. We all knew that.

“I know dad.” I was wondering where this conversation was leading.

“She probably sees her mother in you.” I didn’t say anything. I had considered the possibility that Pia didn’t actually want me, she wanted a replica of her mother.

My fathers face softened, ‘’I didn’t mean to hurt you Khushi.. I just wanted you to be aware.”

“Thanks dad.. How is Pia doing otherwise?” I was trying to change the topic. Thankfully, my father went with the flow. “Where should I start? Her academics are down the drain, she doesn’t have any friends, her nightmares are very frequent but worst of all is that she doesn’t interact with anybody.”

I sank deeper in the seat, wondering how I was going to get Pia out of it. I was getting quite depressed with all this talk. I needed something else on my mind.

“Tell me something funny dad.” My dad looked at me sharply. On seeing my state, he began

“Have I ever told you about the time you and your sister ran away from home? ” He let out a loud guffaw. I had heard the story before, but suddenly I felt like listening to it again.

My dad told me a number of stories that day.. Each one of them funnier than the other. This  was the sister I wanted to remember. The one who brought a smile to my face every time I thought of her.

In the middle, I turned around to check on Pia. She was wide awake. I had no idea when she had gotten up. I tried to decode the look on her phase face, but I couldn’t.

 I wondered what all she had heard.

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 11 - Work

I got up the next morning and pondered over my dream. What was wrong with me? I was seeing signs everywhere.

I proceeded to get ready for work. I was a reporter with a local news channel and the most important thing in my profession is being in the right place at the right time. Everything else was secondary.

 When I had decided to be a journalist, I had dreamed of being the messenger of truth. I had seen myself covering news which would impact the whole country, even the world maybe.

 I wasn’t even remotely close to doing that. My current job involved interviewing residents who were pissed off with the amenities in their area. But I had been sure, I’d get there eventually. Although now, I wasn’t sure that’s where I wanted to be.

I passed a couple of schools, some parks and some toy stores on my way to office.. Strange, how I had never paid any attention to them earlier. Its not a sign, I reminded myself.

 I kept checking my phone every now and then. Every little sound made me reach out for my phone. Why hadn’t Pia called? Why hadn’t mum called? I contemplated calling home but I didn’t want to make my absence felt.

I pushed my office door open and sighed.. It was back to the grind for me.

While walking to my desk, my editor called me, “Khushi.. I have a new assignment for you.. Come to my office in five..”

I didn’t even hear what he said.. Pia was sitting at my desk!

I walked slowly to my desk, so sure that she was a figment of my imagination. She was scribbling something in her notebook.

I maintained my distance, lest she disappeared. Pia finally realised someone was looking at her and looked up. She smiled at me, as though it was perfectly normal for her to be sitting in my office.

“What are you doing here?” My voice sounded sharper than I had intended it to be. But I wasn’t in the mood to entertain discussions with shadows.

Pia’s face fell and she ran a nervous hand across her nose.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Shadow or real, I was happy to see her. I poked her tentatively to see whether she was real. I pulled my hand back as though it had been burnt. She was real.

 Concern filled my head.

“Why are you here Pia? How did you get here!”

“I got her here Khushi.. ” I turned around to face my dad.

Pia was laughing at my shock. A little smile crept on my face as I realized what was going on. My dad had got Pia down here as bait!  He must have known, I just needed a little incentive to push myself over the fence.

I was glad he came.

“Khushi..  I’ve been waiting for ten minutes!” My editor came by my desk, red with impatience. He saw my family and his frown deepened, “What is this? A family reunion?”

I looked at the broken pieces of my family and nodded, “Yeah.. It is..”

“Lets go Khushi.. I don’t have whole day..” He walked a little ahead and then stopped when he realised I wasn't following him. 

"Are you coming? or not?"

Suddenly, my career didn’t seem so important, my life in the city didn’t seem important. The only thing that mattered most right now was the little girl who had slipped her hand into mine.

Everything was clear to me now. What I had to do. I gathered Pia into my arms and turned to my editor.

“You know what.. I’m sorry, but I have to go now.. I quit!” With that I walked out leaving a very stunned staff behind. I didn’t care too much. I wasn’t irreplaceable there. There were tens of people who would take up my job in a jiffy.

But I was irreplaceable in Pia’s life. 

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 3 - The Decision

I got down on my knees and beckoned to her.

 “Go away!” She screamed. I could see her lower lip quivering. I could tell she wanted to be held and comforted.

 “Pia, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. I should have been here with you. I am so sorry. Please Pia.” I was begging, but I didn’t care. I just wanted her to forgive me.

“Will you forgive me Pia?” I asked.

She watched me warily and then, when it got too much for her, she flung her arms around my neck.

I held her tight and felt an odd sense of calm fall over me. The six months of uneasiness left me temporarily and I knew I was doing the right thing.

 

“You sound just like her.” Pia mumbled, still holding on to me.

How many times had I heard that before? People could never tell whether it was me or my sister over the phone.

“I know baby.” I pushed her hair back and took a good look at her.

Swollen eyes, probably from lack of sleep or from too much crying. No color on her cheek, she probably hadn’t stepped out in the sun for a long time. Then my hand brushed past the scar on her chin. I titled her head and ran my finger gently along the long scar.

It wasn’t this scar that I was worried about.

“You’ve been crying too much?” I asked her.

“I try not to,” She was trying to be brave. “Gramdma told me mommy and daddy are in heaven now. So I shouldn’t be sad but I just miss them.”

The way she said it, so simply, it tore me apart. I choked up. Be strong, I told myself. She needs you to be strong.

“I miss them too Pia.”  She let go of me and looked at me. Those big brown eyes, brimming with tears.

“Do you think they miss me?”. I smiled involuntarily. She was worried that wherever her parents were, they wouldn’t miss her. I chose my words carefully.

“Of course Pia. Your parents loved you. Of course they miss you.”  Decision

Her face broke into a smile, “Really?”

“Yes baby. They miss you like crazy and they don’t want you to be sad. They want you to be happy.” My answer seemed to have satisfied her and she looked visibly happier.

“What did you get me this time??” Her grief temporarily overshadowed by her desire to get a present.

I hadn’t got her anything materialistic, but I made a decision then and there.

“I have a surprise for you.” The word surprise worked like magic on her.

“Surprise?!? What is it!!” I laughed at her enthusiasm. It was contagious.

“I can’t tell you right away. You’ll have to wait okay?” I could see her mentally conjuring up images of what her present could be.

“Is it a puppy? Or Roller skates?? A cell phone???” The possibilities were endless and her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“You will have to wait.” I said firmly.

“For what??” Pia was dismayed that she would have to wait for her present for longer than she already had.

“I have to talk to your Grandma before that.” I didn’t know what I was going to say to my mum. But I will think about it when I have to. Right now, I was busy pampering Pia.

Pia chattered on about something. It didn’t even matter what she was saying. I was so relieved that she was talking to me. I just sat quietly and let her talk. I heard the door open and saw my mum and dad peeping inside.  They hadn’t heard Pia laughing for a long time.

Relief was apparent on their faces. They both stepped inside gingerly, worried that any moment Pia would see them and stop talking. Pia did see them, but she grabbed my mum’s hand and took her somewhere, most probably trying to sweet talk her into agreeing to my conditions for Pia’s gift. I could hear my mum laughing on her way down.

I looked at my father and suddenly I was nervous. I had ignored his earlier calls, desperate calls to get  me home.

“Dad..” I started. I had no explanation to give, but I had to try.

“Don’t.” My dad put up his hand and stopped me.

“I was really mad at you Khushi,” he continued, “ I was wondering what kind of a heartless daughter I had.”

I looked at him, suddenly hurt. I knew I had done wrong, but I was trying to make things better.

“But today, I heard Pia and Poonam laugh for the first time since the..” He steeled himself, “ since the accident. And I’m very glad you came.” He smiled at me.

There’s no better place to be, when you are hurt, than in your father’s arms. And that’s where I was.

Just like that, the house became whole again.

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 2 - Pia

I still remembered the first time we entered this house. My parents had built it after my father’s retirement. This house, had seen us through so many joyous occasions. My parents fiftieth wedding anniversary, my sister’s wedding, my niece’s first birthday. This house was always some place I could come and be happy. Never before had it been so unwelcoming.

There was this time when my sister was working in some other city and I was staying with my parents. One day my sister called me and said “You remember , you met my colleagues the last time you had come to visit me?”

“Yeah, what about them?” I was wondering which direction the conversation was heading.

“Well, one of them asked me to marry him.”

I had burst out laughing then and asked her “What did you say?”. I was fully expecting her to burst out laughing too.

“I said yes.”

“You said what???” I was stunned.

“I said Yes.” I could hear her smiling over the phone. “I’m getting married!”

And that had been it. Within a month, my sister was married. How happy we all had been that day.

Coincidently, it would have been their tenth wedding anniversary today, but there was no celebration this year.

I don’t know how long I stood there.

“You came..” The spell broken, I looked around. My mother was standing in front of me. She looked tired beyond her years. I put down my bags and walked into her open arms.

“I wasn’t sure you would come.” She said.

“I had to.” My mother nodded as though she understood. But how could she? How could she know what I was feeling.

“Are you eating properly? You look thin.” I smiled. Despite everything that had happened, my mother’s questions were the same.

“I’m fine ma.. How are you and dad?”

“Getting along. You should visit us more often. We are old folks now.” My mother was trying to make me feel guilty for not visiting her. And it was working.

“I know. I wanted to.. But something came up.”

“Something always does.”

“How is..”

 I was struggling to ask the question, I didn’t want to know the answer.

 “Pia?” My mum asked, “Poor kid, doesn’t talk much nowadays, doesn’t go out to play. Her teachers say she doesn’t interact with anyone in class. I’m worried.”

“She’ll be fine..” I tried to reassure my mum, but I didn’t believe she was going to be fine.. I was 24 and I still wasn’t fine, how could I expect a eight year old to be fine.

“Where is she?” I wanted to see her, I wanted to hold her and apologize to her for deserting her when she needed me the most.

“She might not want to meet you.” My mum was pretty blunt about it.

“I’ll take my chances.”

I went looking for Pia.

She was so tiny the first time I saw her. An exact replica of my sister.  I remember not wanting to hold her, because she looked so delicate. My sister had laughed at me then and taught me exactly how to hold her. And I had. Pia was just two months old then and she had wrapped her fist around my finger. I still have that picture on my desk at work. With the three of us smiling into the camera.

I opened the door to what used to be my room. Pia was sitting at the far end of the room. She didn’t turn around.

“Pia?” I called.

She turned suddenly, her eyes wide open in surprise. Then she saw me and the spark in her eyes disappeared. She got up and stood there looking at me.

“Pia..” I said again.

She took one step towards me and then hesitated.

 Was she going to run away from me?