The door opened suddenly and my mum walked in with two glasses of nimbu pani.
“I just thought you kids would like something to..” She paused when she saw me standing next to Dhruv solemnly, my hand on his shoulder.
Almost immediately, I withdrew my hand and stepped away.
She cleared her throat, placed the glasses on the table and walked away slowly. I guess she sensed that we were in the middle of a very sensitive discussion.
“Would you like some?” I asked Dhruv as I took a sip out of a glass.
“Sure.” I handed him the glass quietly. I didn’t want to talk about things which upset him. What was I trying to achieve anyway?
“So, Sara was there throughout the painful physio sessions.” He continued as though nothing was wrong. “She was so convinced that I would heal and become completely normal. She pushed herself and me beyond any limits.”
He paused to take a deep breath. His hand tightened around the glass for a moment and then the all familiar smile appeared on his face. “Sorry, I get a little caught up in the moment sometimes.”
“You certainly are very calm about the whole thing.” I said, putting on an air of casualness. If he could do it, so could I.
I sat down on the floor, hugging my knees.
He took a big gulp, “I’ve had lots of practice.” He said.
“Not enough clearly,” I said referring to his reaction a moment ago.
“This is good. Can I have some more?” He said, changing the topic subtly.
“Here, take this.” I handed him my glass. I was way too lazy to go make another glass for him.
“So where were we?” he asked, taking the glass from me. Before I could answer, he continued, “Oh yeah, ”The physio. Well, it was crazy, and I snapped. I didn’t want to do it anymore. It was just too bloody hard. But she pushed and pushed and pushed till I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her to leave me alone.” He put his head down, as though he was ashamed and then looked back me and smiled. A smile, which wasn’t a smile at all.
“And she did?” I asked, my voice a whisper.
“Yeah. I don’t recall correctly but apparently I said a whole lot of things to her. Unforgivable things.” He sighed deeply. “I wrote that letter hoping she knew what I said was in the heat of the moment.”
“But you never gave it her?”
He pursed his lips and half turned away from me. “She deserves better.” He said simply.