I went back to my place after that and I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had the oddest of dreams that night. I was still at Maya’s place but Maya wasn’t there. I look everywhere but I don’t find her. The dream was so real, that I was bathed in sweat by the time I got up. I immediately reached for my phone. There were a couple of texts and a zillion calls from Maya.
WHERE ARE YOU?!
Did you just leave when I was sleeping?
What’s up with you??
Are you mad at me or something?
Dude! What’s wrong?!
Okay, I’m just going to leave you alone assuming you are sleeping. Call me when you get up!!!!!
I re-read her messages. I didn’t know what to think. Suddenly guilt overwhelmed me. Why had I walked out like I did? I read them again. Man! She sounded a little pushy didn’t she? The more I read them, the more I didn’t feel like calling her.
I missed her call again, and the next one. Why was she calling me so many times? I kept my phone on silent and went around doing my thing. Sooner or later she would stop. Right?
Anyway, this just proves I was right all along. She IS in fact expecting something from our friendship. Would a normal friend make so many calls or send so many texts? Glad I figured it out now.
Phew! What a crazy relationship that would have been? What was I thinking!
After an hour or so, she stopped calling, but I didn’t stop checking my phone. A couple of hours later, I called her.. You know, to just tell her, that I knew how she felt and to put an end to it. After all, she was a friend, I didn’t want to hurt her.
She answered on the first ring, “Hey” She said calmly.
“Hey, you slept okay?” I tried to play it cool.
“Yes and you?” She asked.
“Like a baby.” I replied.
“Uh huh, now will you please tell me where the hell you are?!” Her voice was getting a little pitchy now. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
I sighed, this was what I was afraid of. Things getting ugly. “Maya, calm down!”
She stopped immediately. An awkward silence followed.
“Maya, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I said confidently.
“Sorry? What isn’t a good idea” Confusion was apparent in her voice.
I would have to lay it down for her. “Us, hanging out together.”
“Oh!” She said quietly. After a long silence, she continued, “I don’t know what’s up with you, but I hope you get over it quickly.”
With an abrupt click, she hung up.
I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath. A huge sigh escaped me as I hung up. Relief?I hadn’t realized I was so worked up about this. An unpleasant feeling surrounded me. I don’t know. Maybe what I had done wasn’t right. It certainly was going to be difficult, but it was all for Maya. Somehow, I convinced myself, that I was doing it all for Maya.
Photograph via sxc.hu