My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 3 - The Decision

I got down on my knees and beckoned to her.

 “Go away!” She screamed. I could see her lower lip quivering. I could tell she wanted to be held and comforted.

 “Pia, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. I should have been here with you. I am so sorry. Please Pia.” I was begging, but I didn’t care. I just wanted her to forgive me.

“Will you forgive me Pia?” I asked.

She watched me warily and then, when it got too much for her, she flung her arms around my neck.

I held her tight and felt an odd sense of calm fall over me. The six months of uneasiness left me temporarily and I knew I was doing the right thing.

 

“You sound just like her.” Pia mumbled, still holding on to me.

How many times had I heard that before? People could never tell whether it was me or my sister over the phone.

“I know baby.” I pushed her hair back and took a good look at her.

Swollen eyes, probably from lack of sleep or from too much crying. No color on her cheek, she probably hadn’t stepped out in the sun for a long time. Then my hand brushed past the scar on her chin. I titled her head and ran my finger gently along the long scar.

It wasn’t this scar that I was worried about.

“You’ve been crying too much?” I asked her.

“I try not to,” She was trying to be brave. “Gramdma told me mommy and daddy are in heaven now. So I shouldn’t be sad but I just miss them.”

The way she said it, so simply, it tore me apart. I choked up. Be strong, I told myself. She needs you to be strong.

“I miss them too Pia.”  She let go of me and looked at me. Those big brown eyes, brimming with tears.

“Do you think they miss me?”. I smiled involuntarily. She was worried that wherever her parents were, they wouldn’t miss her. I chose my words carefully.

“Of course Pia. Your parents loved you. Of course they miss you.”  Decision

Her face broke into a smile, “Really?”

“Yes baby. They miss you like crazy and they don’t want you to be sad. They want you to be happy.” My answer seemed to have satisfied her and she looked visibly happier.

“What did you get me this time??” Her grief temporarily overshadowed by her desire to get a present.

I hadn’t got her anything materialistic, but I made a decision then and there.

“I have a surprise for you.” The word surprise worked like magic on her.

“Surprise?!? What is it!!” I laughed at her enthusiasm. It was contagious.

“I can’t tell you right away. You’ll have to wait okay?” I could see her mentally conjuring up images of what her present could be.

“Is it a puppy? Or Roller skates?? A cell phone???” The possibilities were endless and her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“You will have to wait.” I said firmly.

“For what??” Pia was dismayed that she would have to wait for her present for longer than she already had.

“I have to talk to your Grandma before that.” I didn’t know what I was going to say to my mum. But I will think about it when I have to. Right now, I was busy pampering Pia.

Pia chattered on about something. It didn’t even matter what she was saying. I was so relieved that she was talking to me. I just sat quietly and let her talk. I heard the door open and saw my mum and dad peeping inside.  They hadn’t heard Pia laughing for a long time.

Relief was apparent on their faces. They both stepped inside gingerly, worried that any moment Pia would see them and stop talking. Pia did see them, but she grabbed my mum’s hand and took her somewhere, most probably trying to sweet talk her into agreeing to my conditions for Pia’s gift. I could hear my mum laughing on her way down.

I looked at my father and suddenly I was nervous. I had ignored his earlier calls, desperate calls to get  me home.

“Dad..” I started. I had no explanation to give, but I had to try.

“Don’t.” My dad put up his hand and stopped me.

“I was really mad at you Khushi,” he continued, “ I was wondering what kind of a heartless daughter I had.”

I looked at him, suddenly hurt. I knew I had done wrong, but I was trying to make things better.

“But today, I heard Pia and Poonam laugh for the first time since the..” He steeled himself, “ since the accident. And I’m very glad you came.” He smiled at me.

There’s no better place to be, when you are hurt, than in your father’s arms. And that’s where I was.

Just like that, the house became whole again.

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 2 - Pia

I still remembered the first time we entered this house. My parents had built it after my father’s retirement. This house, had seen us through so many joyous occasions. My parents fiftieth wedding anniversary, my sister’s wedding, my niece’s first birthday. This house was always some place I could come and be happy. Never before had it been so unwelcoming.

There was this time when my sister was working in some other city and I was staying with my parents. One day my sister called me and said “You remember , you met my colleagues the last time you had come to visit me?”

“Yeah, what about them?” I was wondering which direction the conversation was heading.

“Well, one of them asked me to marry him.”

I had burst out laughing then and asked her “What did you say?”. I was fully expecting her to burst out laughing too.

“I said yes.”

“You said what???” I was stunned.

“I said Yes.” I could hear her smiling over the phone. “I’m getting married!”

And that had been it. Within a month, my sister was married. How happy we all had been that day.

Coincidently, it would have been their tenth wedding anniversary today, but there was no celebration this year.

I don’t know how long I stood there.

“You came..” The spell broken, I looked around. My mother was standing in front of me. She looked tired beyond her years. I put down my bags and walked into her open arms.

“I wasn’t sure you would come.” She said.

“I had to.” My mother nodded as though she understood. But how could she? How could she know what I was feeling.

“Are you eating properly? You look thin.” I smiled. Despite everything that had happened, my mother’s questions were the same.

“I’m fine ma.. How are you and dad?”

“Getting along. You should visit us more often. We are old folks now.” My mother was trying to make me feel guilty for not visiting her. And it was working.

“I know. I wanted to.. But something came up.”

“Something always does.”

“How is..”

 I was struggling to ask the question, I didn’t want to know the answer.

 “Pia?” My mum asked, “Poor kid, doesn’t talk much nowadays, doesn’t go out to play. Her teachers say she doesn’t interact with anyone in class. I’m worried.”

“She’ll be fine..” I tried to reassure my mum, but I didn’t believe she was going to be fine.. I was 24 and I still wasn’t fine, how could I expect a eight year old to be fine.

“Where is she?” I wanted to see her, I wanted to hold her and apologize to her for deserting her when she needed me the most.

“She might not want to meet you.” My mum was pretty blunt about it.

“I’ll take my chances.”

I went looking for Pia.

She was so tiny the first time I saw her. An exact replica of my sister.  I remember not wanting to hold her, because she looked so delicate. My sister had laughed at me then and taught me exactly how to hold her. And I had. Pia was just two months old then and she had wrapped her fist around my finger. I still have that picture on my desk at work. With the three of us smiling into the camera.

I opened the door to what used to be my room. Pia was sitting at the far end of the room. She didn’t turn around.

“Pia?” I called.

She turned suddenly, her eyes wide open in surprise. Then she saw me and the spark in her eyes disappeared. She got up and stood there looking at me.

“Pia..” I said again.

She took one step towards me and then hesitated.

 Was she going to run away from me?

My Sister's Daughter - Chapter 1 - Going home

I was going home. After six months. I looked at the bus in front of me. I could still turn back and pretend as though nothing had happened, but it was getting harder to ignore that little voice in my head.  I knew, that if I had to find some inner peace, I had to go.

I boarded the last bus out.  I had packed light, I didn’t intend to stay for too long. I couldn’t. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to provide the kind of support my family wanted from me. I just wasn’t strong enough.  I leaned back into my seat and tried not to think about the past. Luckily for me, the bus had a television set and within minutes of the bus’s departure, the conductor put on a garish movie. I tried to concentrate on the movie but the demons of the past started haunting me the instant it was over.

I leaned back and breathed deeply. I forced myself not to think of her. I had blocked her out for the past six months. But now, knowing what was about to come, knowing that I was going to be in places where she had been, the memories came flooding back.

I closed my eyes and felt the cool breeze around my face. I could feel the tears at the back of my eyes. I bit my lips, this was a very bad idea. I couldn’t even manage the bus ride back home, how was I going to face everybody?

And then I let go. I let go of the wall I had built around me and memories after memories came rushing inside my head. Some happy, some sad. But all left me hollow and silent tears flowed down my cheeks. Better to let it all out now, I thought, than to withhold it and have a break down in front of the family.

After I had exhausted myself, I stared out of the window and watched the world rush by. And slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

A loud noise woke me up. It was almost daytime and I was home.

It was exactly as I remembered it. Nothing had changed. Well, almost nothing.

There was nobody to pick me up, that was new. My sister used to come every time, even though we stayed very close to the bus stop. I picked up my stuff and started walking back home.

I reached the house and somehow, it looked forbidding and cold. It wasn’t always like this. There was a time when there was constant hustle bustle around it, with laughter and happiness emitting out of it.

Everything had changed now. Everything had changed since my sister had died.

My Sister's Daughter - Introduction

For my May story, I decided to take on something more serious that A Dog's Story , as suggested by some of you. The title is obviously inspired by My Sister's Keeper, but the rest of the story is not. 

So, read it and let me know what you like, what you don't like. 

Happy Reading.. :)