Bus#126W - Chapter 23

There was more, but I couldn’t get myself to read. It seemed far too intimate and personal for me to pry. I folded it back and put it in an envelope. I wondered who it was for and who had written it or even how old it was.

I tapped my fingers on the envelope, ask or ignore? I knew I had to ask. It was driving me crazy. I called Arpit and told him about the letter.

“Naina, do you know what time it is?” I could hear him stifling a yawn.

“Its 1, so what do you think?” I didn’t care if it was way past our bed times, this wasn’t the first time we had spoken so late.

“Some girl gave it to him, since he kept it, they got back, end of story. Good night.” I heard a click on the other side. Arpit had hung up. I put the receiver down slowly and crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. The letter was resting in its envelope on my side table. I touched it reverently and turned it around a couple of times as though that would get me some answers.

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but when I got up, I was still clutching the envelope tightly in my hand.

I told Pooja about the letter and about what Arpit had asked me to do.

“Noooooooooooooo!” Pooja exclaimed in a low voice. “Just tell him Dhruv refused. As if he’ll ever know the truth.”

“That’s what I thought I’ll do. But I’ll feel awful lying to him. It’s difficult. I’m hoping Dhruv actually says no.” I said, winking at her.

“Yeah, and it’ll mean that he wants to spend more time with you.. Just you.” She remarked.

I had to admit, Pooja sometimes stole the words straight from my mind.

Arpit and Sneha were waiting outside class for me.

“I’ll talk to him.” I reassured Arpit as I walked past them.

“Hey Naina!” Sneha greeted me. I stopped, took steps back and then looked at Sneha who guiltily looked at Arpit. A sort of crooked smile appeared on my face.

It looked as though Sneha was getting doses regarding me, just as I was getting regarding her. Maybe they were arguing? Was I one of the topics? I couldn’t tell.

“Hey Sneha!” I forced chirpiness into my voice and greeted her and realized that I had automatically turned towards Arpit, probably with the same look, on my face.  

Bus#126W - Chapter 22

Arpit took one look at my discomfort and started to laugh his head off.

“Its not funny!” I said huffily.

“Okay..” He tried to say with sincerity but couldn’t suppress a snicker.

 His contagious laughter got to me too and soon we were laughing uncontrollably sitting on his yellow scooter. I can only imagine what a sight we would have made.

“Okay, I’m going in. My mum must be wondering where I am!” I got off the scooter and picked up the books. “Bye!” I said cheerfully.

“Hey, will you do me a favor?” Arpit asked as he put on his helmet again and turned his scooter around.

“Sure, anything.” I said, mildly curious.

“I know Dhruv is trying to make your profile look good for St. Peters. Do you think he would mind helping Sneha too?” he asked.

I didn’t know what to say. I torn between wanting Dhruv’s time all for myself and hatred for Sneha and Arpit’s unwavering faith in me wanting to help out.

“I’ll ask him.” I, of course had no intentions of doing that, but I didn’t want to be the bad one here. Arpit didn’t know Dhruv much. For all Arpit knew, Dhruv didn’t want to waste his time on Sneha.

Yeah, I think I could convince Arpit with that.

“I’ll ask him as soon as I meet him.” I reassured Arpit. I didn’t feel good about my plan, but it was all about self preservation. Sneha had already proclaimed her right over Arpit, there was no way in hell I was letting her anywhere near Dhruv.

“Thanks Naina, you’re the best.” Arpit smiled broadly as he waved me goodbye.

I stood there waving, till he all but disappeared from view, wondering when exactly I had sunk so low. I bit my lip as I thought of my dastardly plan. Childish, immature, silly, I could attribute a zillion negative adjectives to it. I pushed all thoughts around it out of my head, I would face that moral bridge once I got to it.

I heaved the books inside.

My mom was ecstatic that I had finally become serious about my future. Though somehow I knew she suspected my real motives behind it. Mothers always know. She didn’t say anything about it though. I guess as long as I was studying it didn’t matter why.

Up in my room, I flipped through the books, hoping to find a glimpse into Dhruv’s personality. I liked the fact that he kept his books clean, without any scribbling and underlining. I hated that books had dog ears, but I could look past that. A couple of times, I came across I came across some small pieces of papers. I had been thrilled, till I found they were just a list of formulae.

I was just about wrap up for the night when I came across a little folded note. It was slightly tattered at the folds, as though it had been opened several times.

I opened it slowly and read it out.

I can’t believe that what we once shared is forever lost.

Because what we had was special, it was something which mattered the most.

I know you don’t want me anymore, still hopelessly into love I fall,

With your every breath, your every smile, your every call.

I wish you’d forgive me, what I did was wrong.

If you could see me now, you’d know how much for your love, I long.

I tried, but I know I can’t write poetry like you do,

But you’ll never find someone to love you as much as you know I do.

Bus#126W - Chapter 21

Slowly I walked home. I was a little apprehensive about Dhruv’s entry into my life. Of course, it made me feel warm and great and he was good fun to be with, but I couldn’t help wondering if I had warmed up to him because of the attention he had been giving me. To regain something I had lost with Arpit.

Now that Arpit and I had been fighting regularly, was I showering all my affection on Dhruv?

I stopped outside my house. Arpit’s yellow scooter was parked outside. I smiled softly as I walked towards it. I remembered the story of the scooter. He had been begging for a bike but his parents just wouldn’t relent. In the end, Arpit agreed to get a scooter but of his choice. Unlike any normal person who would have visited showrooms, Arpit had scoured junkyards to find this one. Painstakingly, Arpit had restored it and painted it, completely retro style. 

Of course, not many appreciated his tastes then. He was ridiculed for riding a scooter, that too a yellow one but Arpit didn’t care. He knew he had given something special another lease of life.

And I had been with him every step of the day, from the day he visited the first junkyard to the last brush of paint.

“She’s looking good isn’t she?” Arpit’s voice called out from behind me.

Without turning around, I ran a hand over the headlight, “She always does.” I smiled at him. This is how we were, fight one minute, make up the next.  But things would change if we didn’t go to college together. We would hardly see each other, phone calls would be non-existent and then eventually, we would get so busy that we would call each other only on birthdays.

“Why are you late?” He asked. Clearly, he had been sitting at my place for a really long time.

“I had extra practice.” I repeated my lie.

“No you didn’t. I called Pooja.” He came closer, “What’s with the books? Did Dhruv give you these? Were you with him?”

“What are you? My mom? What’s with the questions?” I pushed him away slightly.

He stepped away. “I’m not applying to St. Peter’s.” He said, rubbing his forehead, as though saying it was incredibly tough on him.

I turned towards him, leaning slightly on the scooter. “Did you think about what I said?”

He nodded a little and ran his hand through his hair. He looked a little nervous. “Is that why you are here?” I asked.

 “I thought you looked quite upset in school. Just wanted to check up on you.” He picked up the books I had dumped on the scooter. “I’ll help you take them in.” He said.

“I can manage.” I said moving between the books and him.

He gave me a long hard look. I stared right back at him. Finally, he sighed deeply and put on his helmet, “Get off my bike.”

I stepped away clutching my books with both hands my face starting to contort awkwardly, my lower lip starting to droop.

“Now don’t do that!” Arpit exclaimed.

“Do what?” I said, my voice a little hoarse with emotion.

“That face, this time, its your fault. Not mine. I didn’t do anything wrong.” He started the scooter and revved a little as though he was going to push off.

I didn’t say anything.

“Damn you Naina! What do you want? You don’t want to talk to me, you don’t want me to go! What? What is it that you want?” He took out the key from the ignition and parked the scooter.

“I want us to be normal again.” I said slowly, dumping the books on the ground and sitting next to him on the scooter.

“So you’re not mad about St. Peters?” Arpit asked.

I shook my head slowly, “Your life, your choice.”

“You don’t want to know why I changed my mind.” He said it more like a statement, than a question.

“I do, but I think I already know.” I averted my eyes. I could sense another impending argument.

“It’s not because of Sneha okay? And I want you to stop holding her responsible for all our arguments.” He said snapping his fingers at me.

I gasped. “Don’t you snap your fingers at me!”

“Ok I’m sorry!” Arpit deflated pretty quickly, “but listen, I want you to be okay with this.”

 He took my hand in his and squeezed gently. I nodded, “I knew you were interested in research, just didn’t know you wanted to pursue that. I just didn’t see. I wanted you to be with me in college.” I wiped an imaginary tear away. “But you’re right, St. Peter’s is not the place for you.” I hit him lightly on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me all this while?”

He shrugged, “Didn’t seem important. Anyway I would have told you eventually.”

“And Sneha?” I asked hesitantly. She was a sore subject for me.

His face creased into a smile, “Actually, she’s trying for St. Peter’s. Wouldn’t it be great if you are classmates??”

My jaw dropped, quite literally. Classmates? Sneha and I?

No! Dear God! No!!

Bus#126W - Chapter 20

I made my way tentatively to the bus stop and sat down. As the bus pulled away slowly, I wondered whether I should have done what I did. I stayed rooted to spot even though I knew I was being stupid. There was no guarantee that he was going to show up and even if he did, what would I say if he asked me why I was here.

Half an hour passed and there was no sign of Dhruv. For no reason whatsoever, I could feel tears gather at the back of my eyes. I felt like an idiot. I couldn’t even start to understand why I had gotten off in the first place. I picked up my bag and wondered why I should do next. The next bus would arrive only after half an hour.

I couldn’t make up my mind, whether to cut my losses, grab an auto and leave or to sit there and wait for some god forsaken reason. I know the choice seems obvious now, but it didn’t seem like that to me.

I waited.

Ten more minutes passed, then twenty.  The bus rolled along on time and I got in it, averting my eyes from everyone.

“Hey, you had to stay back extra hours too?” I turned around in surprise and there he was, with a big pile of books in his hands, his hair in a mess and a big smile on his face.

“Let me help you with that.” I said, taking the books from his hand, unable to control the reciprocating smile on my face.

“Thanks, I’ve dropped them a zillion times already. It isn’t really easy for me to pick them up you know.” He said, indicating towards his cane.

I collapsed on the seat under the weight of the books he handed to me.

“Uff! What are these for?” I asked, surfing the titles.

“Oh nothing, just some study material.” He sat down besides me, placing the cane next to the window seat where I was sitting.

I rolled my eyes, what a geek.

“So why are you late?” he asked once he had settled down.

“Oh,” I stuttered, “Nothing, just extra practice.” I lied easily. There was no way in hell that I would tell him I had waited for him.

“Really??” he peered at me. “I think you’re lying.”

I almost gasped. “No I’m not!” I said defensively. How had he known? Maybe I just didn’t look tired enough?

“What were you doing at my stop? Were you waiting for me?” he asked softly.

“No!” I denied vehemently and looked out of the window.

“I think it was very sweet.” He said kindly. I didn’t know what to make of the tone. I half turned towards him.

“But I didn’t.” I said softly, refusing to meet his eyes.

He laughed a little, “Well, if you did, it was very sweet.” He stopped for a moment, “A little silly, but sweet.”

“I didn’t.” I knew what I was saying and the expression on my face were totally contradictory. I didn’t care. I was feeling positively giddy with joy that he could take one look at my face and tell when I was lying.

“So how was your day?” he asked, changing the subject.

We chatted about how our day was and everything else under the sky until my stop came.

“Will you be able to take all of this on your own?” I asked as I handed him back his books.

“Actually, half of them are for you and your friend. You know, sample questions and the works. I had them lying around.”  

“Oh, thanks.” I took the books from him, “You’ve been so helpful.”

He smiled, took my hand in his, “You’ve been a big help too. I know you don’t realize it. But thank you.”

For the second time in a row, Dhruv had left me utterly confused with his last words.