All Roads Lead Home - 7

I decided not to wait for Prachi. I was feeling restless in the hotel room. I needed to get out and do something. I had an address, nothing was stopping me from going and taking a look. Who knew what I’d find. Besides, I really didn’t expect Om to turn up with anything substantial.

It had started to drizzle as I walked out. I pulled my jacket tighter as I walked out in the rain. On most days, the rain would have depressed me and would have ensured that I stayed in my room, but not today. As I walked out, I noticed how the rain was washing the city clean, giving it a new cleansed look. All the dust and dirt which had settled on trees and plants got washed away, leaving the bright soothing green leaves behind.

I noticed people scurrying around, trying to escape from the rain. For a change, the rain did not bother me. I tilted my head and felt the droplets hit my face, the rhythmic pitter-patter of the rain calming my frayed nerves. I didn’t ask for directions. I had spent enough time on the flight and the bus here, trying to memorize the streets from the map that would lead me to my parents house.

Pretty soon, I was out of the commercialized area. Maybe I should have rented a car, or carried an umbrella.  It had been one hour and I was still walking, still getting drenched. The excitement of the rain had died and now I shivered uncontrollably as I realized I was lost. There was no cell phone reception and not a soul in sight.

As I wandered around, trying to find shelter, I wondered where my good aura had disappeared. I was going to fall terribly sick if I kept getting wet. I trudged along, praying that I would meet someone, anyone.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I saw a jeep SUV approaching. Relieved I put out both my hands, trying to get the driver’s attention. The driver didn’t even slow down.

“Hey! Hey!” I called out. I half ran behind the jeep SUV. I let out a huge sigh of relief as the jeep SUV stopped. A hooded figure peeped outside the window.

“Well, hurry up get inside.” A male voice called out.

I gulped. I didn’t want to get into a vehicle with a stranger, that too with a hood! I hesitated.

“Are you coming? Or shall I just go?” The voice asked me impatiently. I thought of the past one hour that I had walked in the rain and literally, raced to the jeep SUV and got in without so much of a glance at the driver. I couldn’t have cared less if he carried a knife, I was exhausted and drenched. I just needed to get out of the rain.

As I shrugged my jacket off, I noticed a big black dog in the back seat. I felt my throat go dry, Since childhood, I had had this inordinate fear of dogs and being in such close proximity with such a huge dog, wasn’t an ideal scenario for me.

“Thank you for stopping.” I said politely. I tried to see his face, but the hood covered most of his face.

“What were you doing so far off the road anyway?” he asked. He noticed the clattering of my teeth and shook his head. He rolled up the window and put on the a/c.

“Better?” he asked as he pulled off his hood.

I nodded, rubbing my arm gently, trying to get some warmth back into my body. I looked at him sneakily, trying not to make it obvious that I was looking at him.

He was older, maybe fifty or sixty. It was hard to tell. The large amount of grey in his hair gave him a distinguished look.  His hands were rough and calloused, classic signs of a farm life.

“So, what were you doing back there?” he glanced at me suspiciously.

“I was looking for an address, and I got lost.” I pulled out a tissue from the Kleenex kept on the dash board and wiped my face.

“Silly girl,” He chided me, “Never step out into the mountains by yourself. You are new here, did you know you were headed towards the forest area?” He asked.

Shocked, I shook my head. Thank God, I had met this man when I had.

Suddenly the dog growled.. I almost jumped out of my skin. I retreated, away from the dog.

“C-c-can you k-keep that thing aw-way from me?” I stammered.

He laughed. “Who? Lyka? She’s a gentle one. Here, give me your hand.” He grabbed one of hand and placed it on the dog’s snout. I held my breath trying not to scream. Lyka, stood still, even whimpered a little. Emboldened by her response, I stroked her a little and was taken aback when her tail started wagging. This wasn’t so bad.

“See, she likes you..” He smiled kindly at me.

“Yeah, I think she does.” I smiled back and continued petting Lyka.

“Okay, we’re in the city. Where do you want to be dropped?” He asked suddenly.

Surprised, I looked around. I was already there, near my hotel.

“Right here, please.”

As I got off the jeep SUV, I realized I didn’t even know his name.

“Thank you for the lift.” I said through the window that he had rolled down.

“My pleasure, be careful next time.” He said as he started his jeep SUV again.

“I’m Ira by the way,” I introduced myself a little too late.

“Nice to meet you Ira, I’m Vishal Sood. I have this little cottage for tourists that I run. Come by sometime. Lyka will like that.”

As he drove away, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that I would be meeting him again. And soon.

All Roads Lead Home - 6

That evening, I stayed in my room. Exhaustion had enveloped me. I was physically and emotionally drained out. That night, I dreamt about old houses, new relationships and happy endings.

The next morning, as I lay on the bed, pondering over my dream, I felt some good aura around me. I put my hand out of the blanket as though I could grab all of it and keep it with me.

I felt it in my bones, today was going to be a good day.

With a spring in my step, I got ready and rushed down to meet Raaghav. He had promised to introduce me to his brother, the first thing in the morning.

I could see two people standing outside from inside the hotel, one of them in the doorman’s uniform. Excited, I pushed the door open and stared.

It wasn’t Raaghav.

“Can I help you Madam?” The doorman, whose name tag most definitely did not read Raaghav, asked.

Slowly, I recovered from the shock and asked him, “Where is Raaghav today?”

“He’s not keeping well today, he’s going to be on leave for a couple of days.”

A couple of days??

“What happened to him?” I was concerned about him, even if my ulterior motives were selfish.

“I don’t know. Is it something important?” He asked.

I didn’t know, if his brother could help me, then most probably this was the single most important thing for me right now.

“Yes.” I said hestitantly, ”Is there any way I can contact him?”

The doorman eyed me suspiciously. After all, why would a guest be interested in the doorman’s wellbeing. To the extent of wanting to call him.

He shook his head, “You’ll have to check with the front desk.”

Discouraged, I walked back inside. I hadn’t even asked Raaghav his brother’s name. The concierge also couldn’t help me. He promised to ask around among the staff circle if anybody could contact Raaghav for me.

Heartbroken at the way the day was shaping up, I went back to the room when the front desk called me.

“There is someone by the name Om here to see you.”

“I don’t anybody by that name.” The front desk apologized for the inconvenience which somehow ended up frustrating me even more. COuldn’t they tell, my day had gotten off to a bad start.

Five minutes later the phone rang again.

“I’m sorry Madam,” The front desk clerk apologized before he even began talking.

“I told you!” I felt my temper rising. My carefully laid plans, which had seemed so perfect yesterday had come crashing down and I didn’t even have a backup plan. I was back to square one.

“Madam, he says Raaghav sent him.” The clerk interjected quickly.

“Oh! I’ll be right down.” I cursed myself for panicking. I should have known Raaghav would be as good as his word.

Om wasn’t hard to recognize, he was a splitting image of Raaghav but unlike Raaghav, he was gruff man. He scowled as he saw me approach me.

“Raaghav sent me, he said you want to find someone? Give me their old address, I’ll see what I can do.” He said before I could introduce myself.

He grabbed the address from my hand and started walking out.

“Thank you!” I called out behind him, unsure of whether the address would actually be looked at or whether the piece of paper would find its way into the trash can.

All Roads Lead Home - 5

With Prachi’s call, I was filled with a new found hope and energy. I walked down to the front-desk and asked the concierge about the area that my parents had lived in almost thirty years ago.

“Thirty years ago..” The concierge said thoughtfully. “That area was a well off area quite a few years ago. Then the richer people started abandoning the town to go settle in bigger cities and all the good areas in the town deteriorated. But thirty years ago, that’s a long time ago.. I’m sorry, I can’t really be sure.”

I turned away disappointed, when the concierge called me back, “Maybe you can talk to Raaghav, our doorman, he’s been around for as long as anyone can remember.” He pointed at an elderly gentleman manning the door.

Funny, I had  never paid any attention to him as I had walked in. Now as I walked towards him, I noticed the way his shoulders slumped, the way his back slouched, the look of exhaustion on his face. I felt sorry for him. Was my birth father standing somewhere like this? Exhausted to the core? Working to make ends meet?

I shuddered and put the thought out of my head. After a quick word with the concierge, I took Raaghav on a break. Somewhere, inside, I hoped that my good deed would be passed on to my parents, if they were in a such a position.

Raaghav felt too conscious to enter the coffee shop in the hotel, so we decided to go to a nearby chai shop.

“So, thank you for talking with me.” I waited till the tea was on the table.

Raaghav, clearly not much of a talker, simply nodded.

“I wanted to know about some residential areas in the city. I mean, what kind of people stayed there, around thirty years back. Can you help me?” I hurried to finish my sentence as Raaghav gulped down his tea.

“One more?” I asked. He nodded and gestured to the waiter.

Silence surrounded the table.

“So will you help me?” I asked. I could hear the desperation in my voice.

After some thought, Raaghav said, “Can I have something to eat too?”

“Sure, order whatever you like.” I passed on the menu to him. Turns out, he didn’t need it. He was a regular here. I waited patiently till he finished eating.

As he started getting up, I realized he had taken me for a ride.

“I am sorry Madam, I don’t know this are you wanted to know about.”

I nodded a little and grimaced at my naiveté. Why had I assumed he would be the answer to all my problems. The bill came as he walked out. Feeling somewhat like a fool who’s been had, I took out my clutch.

“Maybe you should talk to my brother.” I looked up, Raaghav had returned. Did he expect me to feed his brother too?

“No, thank you.” I said curtly. How stupid did he think I was.

“He works for the Post Office.” He had said the only thing, that could have stopped me from walking out.

“And you..” I asked hesitantly, “think he’ll be able to help me?”

He smiled kindly at me, “I don’t know who you are looking for in that area, but if anyone can help you, its him. I will call him to meet you tomorrow.”

Suddenly, he had made my day. I had a plan now. A direction. I felt some weight slide off my shoulders.

As I walked back to the hotel with Raaghav, I realized that in my search, I would have to depend on a lot of people. And I couldn’t treat any of them with suspicion, nor could I doubt their motives. I would have to trust them and their inputs. I would have to jump without a safety net. No, that was not true. Prachi would be my safety net.

“Thank you for the break madam.” Raaghav said politely as he held the door open for me.

“No Raaghav..” I stopped him. “Thank you.” As corny as it was, it was true. He had helped me out in more than one ways. 

All Roads Lead Home - 4

I didn’t know where to start from. I stared absently at the bustling street. I was getting jostled by people running to catch up with their lives.

What do I do first! What do I do first!  I asked myself fervently. I decided to find a place to stay and set up base there and travel from there everyday. I checked into a nice hotel, I figured I deserved it after what I had been through. I could afford it, as of now.

I kicked off my shoes and settled in the bed. Suddenly I felt very tired. I had travelled half way across the country without having an inclination of what I was looking for. What if I find them? What did I want to say to them? What if they were no more? Would I not want to go back?

I sighed.

I looked at the phone next to the bed and for a minute the temptation to call home was almost irresistible. I picked up the receiver and dropped it back almost immediately. I didn’t know why it was important for me to maintain this emotional disconnect, but I knew if I called home often, I would take the next ride home. My mum would convince me. She always could.

As a kid, when I used to get hurt, she used to tell me stories of fairies and pixies as she bandaged the wound. I used to get so distracted by the magical world that she was building, I never even noticed the zing that dettol caused. I was about to call it a day, when my phone rang. It was my sister, Prachi. I didn’t want to answer it. As much as we loved each other, there were times when she used to belittle me, my plans or my ideas. Sometimes, I thought it was some twisted way of showing me that she cared, by telling me things, no one would tell me. Things I didn’t want to hear. I used to fight bitterly with her. After all, nobody liked to see or admit to loopholes in their perfect ideas. But as luck would have it, she was right most of the times, and she never said “I told you so.”

I ignored the first couple of calls, but I knew Prachi was persistent. She would know that I was deliberately not responding to her calls. Eventually, I received her call.

“Are you crazy???” No greetings, just a indication of what direction this call was going to take. With her telling me what a fool I was for doing this.

“What do you want?” I was already demotivated. I had never realized that the task of hunting down two people could be so daunting. The movies, always made it seem so easy.

“Why aren’t you answering your calls? Are you going to forget that I’m your sister?” I had to smile, this is who she was. My sister, to the point, no dilly dallying.

“I was busy.” I was lying, I knew she knew that I was lying, but I did it anyway.

“Liar! Okay, where are you right now? Wait, let me get a notepad or something.”  I wondered what was going through her head. She could be rash, impulsive and just plain crazy.

“Okay.. go ahead.” I rattled off the address of the hotel I was staying in.

“So..” she started. I could hear her typing something in the background. “I have just booked my tickets and I should be there by end of tomorrow.”

I was so stunned, that for a minute I didn’t know what to say.

“Ira.. Are you there?” Prachi’s voice shook me out of my shock.

“Prachi, you don’t have to. This is my search and I want to do it alone.” I didn’t know if I wanted her to be here. I was suddenly suspicious. What was her plan? Did she really want to help? Or was she just coming to brainwash me.

“Oh..” I could sense the disappointment in her voice. And then she continued, “I don’t care Ira, I’m coming whether you like it or not. I’ll stay in the hotel room while you go on your wild goose chase, if you don’t want me to help you, but I’m coming. Nothing’s going to change that.”

I flared up, “Why! Why do you do this every time! Why do you have to take everything that is important to me and trivialize it?!”

There was no reaction from the other side. After the long pregnant pause, I heard my sister talk.

“Ira, I think what you are doing is fantastic. And I know, its important for you to find out. Maybe I’ll never understand why you need to look for another family, when you already have a pretty great one around. But I know you want to or maybe you have to. And I was just trying to joke around. Since when did you start taking me so seriously?”

It was as close to an apology that one could get from Prachi.

“Its just..” I said sullenly, “It’s just a touchy topic for me.”

“So I’ll see you in a while?”

“So you think what I’m doing is right?” Despite everything I had said about her, I still needed her reassurance to have the faith that I could do what I had set out to do.

“Sure, I would’ve have done the same thing, had I been in your place. Except..” she paused.

“Except what?” I prepared my self for the barrage of loopholes that she was going to point out.

“I wouldn’t have been so dramatic about it!” She said, “Oh my god! I’m adopted, I need to find out who my real parents are! I have to go right now!” She said mimicking me.

I had to laugh. As we hung up, I realized that I wasn’t quite right when I had said that I didn’t share any similar mannerisms with my family members.

Like my sister I too was rash, impulsive and just plain crazy. And somehow, that thought was comforting.