Bus#126W - Chapter 32 - The End

I wish I could say that I put everything aside and won that ruddy race but I didn’t. I was an insignificant fourth. I was disappointed of course.

“Why is everything going wrong!!!” I whined to Arpit and Sneha.

“See, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose. Just participate in anything and everything and your profile will be set. You’re bound to win something eventually!” Arpit said, not helping too much. On seeing my dejected face, he added “I’ll buy you ice cream for your fabulous victory!”

I knew he was trying to cheer me up, but I just wasn’t up to it.

“I think I’ll just head home.” I said. I put on my mp3 player on, finding the saddest song I had on it.

I walked out of the school gates and there he was. Dhruv. I glanced at him and wondered whether I should run towards him or away from him.

Finally, I didn’t have to decide, he came up to me.

“Where have you been?” he asked.

Where have you been! I wanted to ask but I acted cool, “Around.”

He nodded a little, “I don’t know what I was thinking! Be good.” He said and turned around, as though he was getting ready to leave.

I didn’t try to stop him. He had walked out once, he was free to do what he wanted.

I got on to the bus trying not to beat myself too much about it.

“You’re in my seat.” I didn’t react, I knew who it was.

“The whole bus is empty.” I said. What was he trying to do anyway?

“She gave it back.” He said slowly, still standing next to me as the bus started to move.

“What do you want me to do about it?” I said viciously.

“I want you to be a friend.” Now that, made me turn.

 I don’t know how I had missed it, he looked like he had just been hit by a bus.

“Well you look like shit!”  I commented without thinking.

To my surprise, he started laughing. “You say the oddest things ever!”

“Look, just sit down okay?” I grabbed his hand to support him. “So what happened, she turned you down?”

He took the letter out and held it at a distance, “She said it happened a long time back and that she’d moved on.” He sighed deeply, “She did say she can finally forgive me.”

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked, feeling awful looking at his haggard appearance. I was sure I was responsible was some of it, I had cursed him a million times over in the past 5 days.  

“Move on.” He smiled bravely at me.

I touched his hand a little, “You’ll be alright.”

He looked at me seriously, “And you?”

“What about me?” I think I had a faint idea where this conversation was heading, but I played dumb.

He touched my face lightly, just around my jawline, “I’m not stupid you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said surprised by the tenderness in his voice.

He moved his hand away from my face, “Okay, but just so you know, I’m here whenever you want to talk.”

“I lost by the way.” I said suddenly. Anything to change the topic!

“The race?” he asked his eyebrows raised.

I nodded sadly.

He shrugged, “Shit happens.”

“Shit happens.” I repeated slowly my face splitting into a wide smile. Somehow, now my defeat didn’t seem so devastating anymore.

As I got off the bus, I turned around to wave at him.

“Walk you home?” he asked suddenly, shouting to make himself heard over the sound of the bus and the traffic.

I nodded, unable to control the smile which appeared on my face. He smiled back and got off.



Even though I lived in a world of black and white, Dhruv and I were in a grey area and for once, I didn't mind. It seemed like everything had changed, yet everything had remained just the same. Slowly we made our way back home, just like the very first time.

Bus#126W - Chapter 31

On hearing the tone of my voice, he came right over. Arpit that is.

“Its okay,” he said. “Let it go.” Gently, he stroked my hair and let me cry. I knew he didn’t understand why I was crying, heck I’ll be damned if I knew! But it was just comforting to know that someone cared enough to be miserable when I was feeling down in the dumps.

“Did you like him?” He asked softly as I sat there sniffling.

I shook my head, “I don’t know, maybe. He seemed nice.”

Arpit smiled, “He is nice. That fact doesn’t change, does it?”

“I guess not, but I was really fond of him, not he’ll also get a girlfriend.” I said unintentionally. I stopped suddenly realizing what i had just said.

“And become like me?” He didn’t sound mad but I couldn’t turn and look at him.

  “I didn’t say that.” I said, sitting very still.

He put one arm around me and squeezed tightly, “I don’t know why you think I’ve changed. I’ve not.” After a pause he added, “And Dhruv will not.”

“Maybe you don’t see it.” I moved away from him slightly and rested my chin on my palm.

“Whatever it is. It’s in your head. If you like him,” he said getting up, “Just tell him and see how it goes.” He planted a little peck on my forehead. “You’re crazy you know that right?”

I smiled despite myself. “Birds of a feather flock together!!” I called out after him.  I saw him laugh a little as he rode away on his scooter.

The next day, absolutely nothing happened. Dhruv didn’t show up at all. And I didn’t, like the last time, get off the bus and wait for him. Besides, Sneha was with me. As we did our chores around the animal shelter, I kept an eye out for Dhruv, but either he did an excellent job of avoiding us or he just wasn’t there.

I knew Sneha knew, but I was glad she didn’t bring it up. I thought of calling him. I even dialed his number a couple of times and put the phone down. What right did I have over him to ask him why he didn’t meet me?

As it turned out, I didn’t see him for the next couple of days. Didn’t he miss me? I sure as hell missed him. I missed his witty retorts, his clever jokes, mostly, I think I just missed his presence. Even in the midst of a practice session, I would see him standing around but when I stopped to look, he wasn’t there. I was obsessing with his absence. But still I couldn’t get myself to call him. If he wanted to meet me, he would make an effort right?

“Forget about him okay, his purpose was to help you get into St. Peter’s. He gave you some excellent pointers, now he’s gone.” Arpit consoled me. “Focus on the race. You can worry about him tomorrow.” He touched my chin, “After you’ve won.”

Tomorrow, oh yeah, my quarter finals were tomorrow. I had a lot of contradictory advice coming my way from “Good riddance” to “Go find him.” Frankly speaking, I couldn’t care less about the race.. Just that when I was running, those few minutes, when the blood rushed through me I didn’t wonder why he had disappeared on me. I didn’t question why he hadn’t tried to reach me. In those few precious moments, I felt almost normal.

Bus#126W - Chapter 30

The next day, I spent an extra hour in training. So did everybody else, the quarter finals were just around the corner and everyone was charged up.

I needed all of my courage to tell my coach that I won’t be available for evening practice sessions form now on since I had decided to volunteer after school. He didn’t seem too happy, but he couldn’t very well tell me not to go, could he now?

Today, I let Arpit and Sneha be. I was feeling oddly benevolent. Arpit thought I was just being strange.

“What were you people talking about yesterday? What’s gotten into you?” He asked persistently.

“None of your business!” I said, mildly irritated with his insistence.

“Oh come on, you don’t expect me to be curious? One moment you are all like ‘I don’t like Sneha, why did you get her?’ and the other you’re sitting with your arm around her. There’s something fishy here!” He said.

I smiled at him, “Maybe I’ve had a change of heart.” I said.

He scoffed a little, “Yeah, right!” with sarcasm heavy in his voice.

“Well, you’ll never know for sure will you?” I winked at him as I made my way inside the class. I knew I would tell him eventually, but right now, it was just so much fun seeing him burn with curiosity.

It was, just like old times.

After school, Sneha and I made a small trip to the organization where Dhruv worked. It was quite close to St. Peters and it was an animal shelter.

We found Dhruv in midst of several pups, some of them trying to clamber on to his knee as he placed a big bowl of food down.

Sneha and I started laughing, it was almost as though Dhruv was getting mauled by the little pups.

“Laugh now,” he said seriously, “From tomorrow, you both will be taking care of this section!”

“Really??” Both Sneha and I squealed in delight.

“Yes,” he said, hint of a smile appearing on his face, “I can’t run around the little mutts, now can I?”

I caught his eye as I picked up a pup. “Thank you!” I said.

He nodded gently and came closer. He put out a hand to pet the pup I held in my arms. “I thought about what you said.”

“What.. What did I say?” I asked, a little confused what he was talking about.

“You know, the letter.” He kept his head low, eyes focused on the pup as though he didn’t want to look at me.

“Oh.” I said the smartest thing I could think of.

“Well, I gave it to her.” Slowly, he looked up to see my reaction.

“You did?” I turned away from him. I hadn’t expected him to actually do it. I was just trying to say the right thing.

He didn’t attempt to make me face him.

“Yeah, I did.” He said.

I wanted to ask what happened. But doing so would only show that I was interested. And I wasn’t interested in his life, his love life to be particular. Why couldn’t he just volunteer information? Why did I have to ask everything? Shouldn’t he have just understood that I would have liked to know?

But ultimately, I didn’t ask and he didn’t tell. The closeness that I had felt with him yesterday disappeared in a flash. I watched my step around him the rest of the day, hardly saying more than three words in a sentence.

If he noticed the sudden change in my demeanor, he didn’t comment on it. Sneha on the other hand, was all over it.

“What’s wrong??” She asked every five minutes.

“Nothing.” I replied stoically.

Once the evening was over, Dhruv tried to make amends, “I’ll buy you dinner.” He said.

“No thanks.” I said curtly as I got off the bus.

“Naina..” he cajoled me.

I didn’t even turn around. I kept my head high and walked straight. I was confused. I didn’t know what I felt for Dhruv. But it was clear to me he felt nothing.

I covered my face with my hand. What was happening to me? Not like I wanted to be with him right? or did I? This was like the worst thing ever, I couldn’t make head or tail of it. So I did the only thing that a girl does when she’s hopelessly lost.

I called my best friend. 

Bus#126W - Chapter 29

I glared at Arpit as I introduced Sneha to my parents and to Dhruv.

“Ah Sneha. So nice to meet you finally, I’ve heard so much about you.” He said in a tone, which implied several things.

To Sneha’s credit, she seemed unperturbed. She looked over me calmly and then back at Dhruv, “I’m sure you have.”

Arpit and I stood at a distance watching the exchange.

“Idiot! Why’d you get her?” I asked.

“What? You asked me to!” he looked extremely surprised that I was asking.

“I hate this.” I commented.

“Why? They seem to be getting along.” Arpit raised one eyebrow questioningly.

“Never mind.”  I walked towards Dhruv and Sneha, interrupting their conversation.

“Sure, I’ll be there. Just tell me when.” Sneha was saying.

“What’s going on?” I asked, a tad annoyed that Dhruv and Sneha were planning to meet up.

“Dhruv was just telling me about the organizations he’s taking you to tomorrow. He asked me to come along.” Sneha said, looking fondly at Arpit who was now standing beside her.

 “He did?” Both Arpit and I said together. I think both of us were a little jealous. I hadn’t wanted them to get along so well. Dhruv was my friend right? What did he think he was doing, fraternizing with the enemy.

I sulked through out dinner and much to my surprise, no one cared too much. Nobody seemed to notice that I was playing with my food, not uttering a single word. My parents were delighted that I had friends like Sneha and Dhruv. I guess, they thought this meant  that their socially awkward daughter had turned into a butterfly.

“You should both come over again soon.” My mum told Dhruv and Sneha as they made their way out.

“How come your mum never says that to me?” Aprit asked forlornly.

I shrugged indifferently. It was all his fault anyway.

I walked Dhruv till the gate and stood there for a couple of minutes in silence watching my mum fuss over Sneha.

“She’s not bad you know.” Dhruv said, interrupting my thoughts.

“I know. She doesn’t have to be bad for me to not like her.” I said curtly. I was tired of people telling me Sneha was nice. I knew that already.

“I think you’re jealous.” Dhruv said.

“Sorry?” I turned towards him, confused. “What nonsense, I’m not jealous!”

He laughed at my defiance, “I don’t mean romantically.”

I scoffed, “Like hell you don’t!”

“I just think she’s taking your quota of affection and attention. And it’s normal not to like it.” He said, starting to walk away.

I turned around and was about to walk back when he poked me with his cane. “Think about what I said.” He said, imitating me from before. “Goodnight Naina.”

I tossed the idea around in my mind for a while. How absurd!  

Arpit and Sneha came next, hand in hand. Something Arpit had said had made Sneha laugh and she was holding on to him, laughing uncontrollably.

“What’s the joke?” I asked, half smiling in anticipation.

“Forget it, you won’t get it.” Arpit said, looking at Sneha.

I nodded a little, hurt that he would say that too me.

“Thank you for having me Naina. Dinner was lovely.” Sneha gushed.

“No problem.” I said formally.

“I’ll drop her home and head back. Night Naina.” Arpit put on his helmet and went to get his bike leaving me and Sneha alone.

“Dhruv’s a nice guy.” Sneha said, making small talk.

“I know.” I said shortly.

“So, tomorrow, big day huh? I’m so looking forward to it. How nice of Dhruv.” She smiled broadly, trying to get me to talk.

Tomorrow was when Dhruv was taking us to the organization where he worked.

“I know.”

What was taking Arpit so long!

“So why don’t you like me Naina?” Sneha had dropped her happy go lucky attitude and was looking at me gravely.

“What? What gave you that idea?” I said, walking towards the garage. I was in no mood to have this conversation with her.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because you can’t say two sentences to me before running away!” she said, her voice raising as I hurried away from her.

I stopped and turned around. Her eyes were glistening with tears. “I have been nothing but nice to you. And all I get in return is this!” she continued. “What did I ever do to you? You’ve been so mean! I’ve tried to include you but you’ve never warmed to me.”

I gulped. I had never imagined Sneha would be so sensitive to what I thought about her.

“Look!” I said, starting to defend myself but I had nothing. No way I could justify it. Ultimately I told her the truth, “I don’t know.”

She laughed a little through her crying. “You don’t know?” She asked.

I shook my head, “I really don’t. Maybe I’m just jealous you know.” I walked towards her slowly, repeating what Dhruv had told me.

“You are what?” She had stopped crying now and was staring at me.

“Not romantically. Just that I miss some part of my friend.” As I said it, I figured some of it was true. Had to be. There was no other explanation.

A smile touched her face, “I guess. Arpit told me how close you guys were. But Naina, I really like him. He’s amazing.” She said, half sighing. The same way I had heard Arpit sigh when he was talking about Sneha.

I heard a loud engine noise and Arpit came out of the garage, looking like a clown with the oversized helmet and the yellow scooter.

“Yes he is.” I muttered in agreement and put my arm around her.